“The strength of each of us is in the love and support of those around us”
For the International Autism Awareness Day, we are presenting the “Not Invisible and Unbreakable. Stories about the lives and challenges of Ukrainian autistic children during the war” project. With the information support of INVAK.INFO, we are telling the stories of 12 families who have learned to live on after the tragic day of February 24, 2022. The families share their experiences and feelings, secrets of overcoming difficulties in Ukraine and abroad, and each family is united with an irrefutable belief in the soonest and most long-awaited Victory.
Andriy Tarasenko, an 18-year-old smiling grey-eyed boy from Kharkiv. During the three years of the terrible war, the Tarasenko family survived shelling and bombing, saying goodbye to their lives, and relocation. But despite the extremely difficult circumstances and fear, the family continues to live and enjoy every minute, believing in Ukraine’s Victory.
February 24, 2022
Andriy Tarasenko’s family found out about the beginning of the full-scale war at 5 a.m. Their building shook and trembled from explosions less than 5 km away – the military base was under attack. Andriy’s mother, Vitaliya, recalls that terrible morning: “We immediately realized that the war had started. Although we had a plan of action – a packed bag with documents and valuables, an algorithm of actions – we were psychologically in so much shock that we could not act according to the plan. My husband ran to get the car, I woke up the children, and together we frantically started packing, not fully understanding what exactly we needed to take and how long we were leaving the house for.”
The family did not even consider the option of staying home, because Andriy’s family lived on the outskirts of Kharkiv, in the Northern Saltivka area. Only a 30 minutes drive to the Russian border.
His parents recall that while everyone was panicking, Andriy remained as composed and organized as ever. It seemed that he was the only one in the family who remained calm. The teenager was packing his suitcase according to the list and could not imagine that everyone was not going on vacation in a hurry.
“I couldn’t find the words to explain to Andriy where we were going and for how long. Later, I realized that my son’s composure was a manifestation of shock. All the time we were hearing the sounds of explosions, and the decision to go outside with our confused and frightened children was the most difficult one in my life,” the mother recalls with tears in her eyes.
After the war began, everything changed: the usual routines and daily routines were interrupted, plans and dreams lost their shine.
The family couldn’t leave Kharkiv in the first days of the war: endless traffic jams, followed by enemy tanks and battles against the invaders for their homeland. That’s why Andriy and his family hid in the basement of a Kharkiv factory for 11 days.
Vitaliy’s mother says:
“This was a capital building with thick concrete walls and production facilities upstairs. However, the feeling of danger never left us. We slept in cots on the floor of the gym in our jackets, huddled together, and tried to keep warm. All conversations about the war were cut short when Andriy appeared: we did not know how to explain what was happening so as not to traumatize him even more. But on the third day of the war, my son spoke up. Andriy understood everything and reacted maturely. When the air raid sirens sounded, he was the first to run out into the corridor and not enter the room until the sounds of explosions subsided. When he fell asleep to the sound of artillery, he asked who was shooting – our military or the enemy. He kept asking when the war would end. I can’t even imagine what was going on in the minds of other children like him, who are just as kind and naive as my son.”
On the night of March 7th, 2022, Andriy’s family survived a rocket attack. The factory building was shaking. Andriy clung to his mother and asked if it was an earthquake. His eyes were blinded by the sunset through the window, and explosions could be heard very close by. The family thought that this was the last night of their lives… If they managed to survive, they would flee Kharkiv as soon as possible.
Andriy’s family headed for Poltava in the morning, hoping it would only be for a few weeks. On the way out of his hometown, Andriy saw houses and cars burned to the ground, empty streets, huge craters from shells, and a residential building still burning just a 100 meters from the factory where he had been the night before.
“In Poltava, we were hosted by friends in their apartment. The sounds of sirens kept us jumping up at night and running into the hallway. They explained to Andriy that it was not safe in Kharkiv and that we had to wait for some time. Together we bought groceries, baby food, and diapers, and took them to volunteers who delivered them to our hometown. Later, Andriy was enrolled in a school in Poltava, which distracted him for a while and helped to structure his schedule. Walking in the woods helped him to relax and regain his balance, and the care and attention of his friends supported and encouraged him. However, weeks passed, and Andriy realized from our conversations that our house was damaged and we could not return home. My son had a meltdown,” says the mother.
He cried nonstop, and the parents could not calm their son down. They explained that Ukrainian soldiers are trying their best to defend our Ukraine, but the enemy has a lot of tanks and weapons. Since then, Andriy has been asking every day whether Ukraine will win and how many more enemy tanks need to be destroyed before that victory.
2025
Vitaliya says: “During the war, my son grew up a lot, became more serious and wise. His carefree and smiling demeanor has been replaced by anxiety and withdrawal. His childhood is over. He knows that we cannot return home. Now he only asks if there is good news and if it is enough to return to Kharkiv. And we are waiting for it. We believe and wait patiently.”
After moving to Poltava, the family and Andriy bought food for the defenders and sent it by parcel post. It became very important for the young fellow to join the defense and help Ukrainian soldiers in their difficult struggle.
The family was relieved when they found out that the therapists who used to work with Andriy were alive and ready to continue their services:
“We were no longer alone with the fears and difficulties of Andriy’s stress and trauma. Therapy gave Andriy an outlet to talk about his fears. The overall assessment of his condition was disappointing, but expected. Andriy had regressed due to the shock, and some of the skills he had developed over the years were gone. Gradually, step by step, we brought life back to his eyes.”
Before the war, Andriy Tarasenko used to live a typical teenager’s life: a slender grey-eyed boy who loved to swim, travel, study, learn new things, especially foreign languages. The boy had a unique trait that autistic people often struggle with: a sense of humor. He was a prankster who joked a lot and could make people laugh. His peers loved him, and he was never sad at home. Although the teenager had problems with speech and learning, humor and perseverance helped him live a full life.
Andriy went to school mostly by himself and with pleasure, although he did not always find the academic load easy. The teenager’s talent with languages made him famous throughout the school – his vocabulary and English pronunciation were a head above his peers. He was so fascinated by English that he developed an English accent when he spoke Ukrainian. Andriy had to visit a speech therapist for a long time to help him get rid of it, but it didn’t work.
In 2024 Andrii graduated from high school in Poltava, not his native Kharkiv.
“One May day, my sister asked me: “I understand that a graduation ceremony is impossible for Kharkiv children. But still… What can we do instead?” I told her that instead of a graduation party, we should raise money together with the class teacher to donate to the needs of our defenders. And the graduation for children would be held online. I saw tears in her eyes. Tears of despair, pain, and pride for our children,” says the mother.
Now Andriy works with his father, helping to keep the paperwork. He refused to continue his studies, and his mother and father did not insist, given the circumstances. Ironically, his lowest score in his diploma was in computer science, and today he works at BAF (1C). His life has changed dramatically over the years. He has turned from a teenage boy into a handsome young man capable of being a full-fledged Ukrainian citizen. But at heart, he remains a worried child and occasionally asks questions: “Will Ukraine win?”, “Will we return to Kharkiv?”, ”When will the war end?”
Vitaliya notes: “The war continues… We got used to falling asleep with sirens. We got used to the sounds of Shahed drones over our heads, and the air defense systems responding with fire. We got used to the feeling of danger and the distance between us and our families. We learned to appreciate every day, every ray of sunshine, every breath, and to thank God for every moment. During the war, we realized that the most precious thing we have is our family, close friends, like-minded people whom we do not know but who are close to us, our love for our native land, and respect for the heroes who protect us. Understanding this inspires and gives us the strength to live on. To live for the sake of creating a world where people like Andriy will have a place and where they can feel dignified and protected.”
